Entry 4 - 12/19/2024

Last week, I realized it's Thankmas (which you can read all about here, if you want). In short, it's a charity campaign that the YouTuber Jacksepticeye puts on every year. And it had me thinking about the very first time I could recall him doing Thankmas. I'd already moved on from watching his stuff by that point, but it was really inspiring to see. I started watching his videos really early on in his YT career, so seeing him raise thousands and now millions of dollars is pretty cool.

I ended up watching the VOD of the whole 2024 Thankmas livestream in the background while I did other work. It inspired me to do my own little Thankmas stream last Saturday (12/14). I had a ton of fun doing it, too! Since I have a teeny audience and haven't gotten to do a stream since early summer right before I got really sick (and stayed sick until... uh, October?), it was small. I only raised like, $30. But it felt like something.

And now I've got the itch. I've revamped my whole stream setup. I have a schedule I'm trying out -- Mondays at 1:30PM, Wednesdays at 1:30PM, and Thursdays at 10:00AM, all in EDT, if you're curious. I've kept my personal Thankmas goal up and raised a bit more this week.

It feels good.

I've always wanted to entertain, you know? I remember when YouTube became A Thing (tm). I remember the first videos I ever watched on there. I remember when Smosh moved from their website to YouTube. I remember the first vloggers.

And I remember thinking, "God, I want to do that."

I had a shitty little camera. I sat down and filmed a vlog, talking about literally nothing. I wish I still had that camera somewhere to watch the videos again, but it's long gone. It was something to do -- a stage I could stand on without the fear of all those eyes on me but still with the social aspect of the audience.

Of course, once I figured out I'd have to edit the thing... Well, my vlogging days were numbered. I still hate video editing with a passion.

Streaming... it's good. I like it. I'm not really interested in making it my primary living or anything like that. It's a hobby, one I want to pursue for my own benefit and enjoyment. I get to share the stuff I care about, talk about the topics I'm interested in, play games and chat with people -- all on my own terms.

So, y'know, it's good. It wakes me up, fills me with purpose. I get really energized afterwards, and I'm more inspired than I have been in weeks. Turns out, chatting with people about my interests makes me more interested in those things. Who knew?

(Me, I knew; I've always been this way.)

Anyhow. Things have been pretty good. My place still isn't decorated for the season, but that's okay. I'll do it tomorrow, probably. Probably.

Here's hoping you're finding things that keep you going through the winter. Remember to take care of yourself. Indulge in the things that young-you always wanted to do and couldn't. It's good for you.

By Fate's Hand,

Aese.

PS: If you want to visit the stream, you can find me as aeseofspades on Twitch. Games, witchery, divination, the works. Come by, hang out.