Advertisement Adversaries: "Narcissist Shield Spell"

This post covers a seller who will remain anonymous. They claim to be a hereditary magical practitioner of some renown, descending from (or, at least, related to) Famous Witch Trial Witches. The hereditary part may be true; they talk elsewhere about their family's practices, but it's all in very general terms, so it's tough to tell. The Famous Witch Trial Witches thing is nonsense, if only because the witch trials weren't actually about trying Real Witches. I suggest @/breelandwalker's podcast Hex Positive for a good, basic rundown of this.

They sell a variety of spell services via the Ko-Fi shop function. I settled on this particular listing at random. In general, the vibe is... not good. The first impression is positively rancid. Check out just the shop image:

All of the pictures for these spell service listings are AI generated. Check out the smudged, nonsensical details in the crown above the shield. Note, also, how it's uneven; an actual artist would've used their software to copy parts of this shield to make it symmetrical.

Now, this would be a big red flag on its own, but the seller claims to do magic primarily (or, at least, most powerfully) by doing art. Sit with that for a moment and really consider the implications here.

The overall tone of the shop is one of authority and superiority. Not so bad on its own, but again, the listing claims that the caster is of dubious hereditary lineage. A reddish flag, personally. But most listings you'll find claim authority and superiority, because confidence sells. That part is very normal.

The primary audience for this particular spell is obvious: vulnerable people who are in abusive situations and who either don't know or don't care about using ableist language.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and various conditions categorized as "sociopathy" are mental health conditions, not insults. People with these conditions are not naturally villains, and people without these conditions can be fucking horrible. Using the popularized demonization of these conditions to sell hundred-dollar "spell services" to people dealing with abuse is, and I cannot emphasize this enough, shitty fucking behavior.

Any seller who tries to take advantage of abuse victims, people who are ill mentally or physically, young people, or assortedly vulnerable and/or desperate people is automatically suspect. Even if their services are legitimate, their marketing strategy hinges on preying on the unwary. And that makes them an actual piece of shit, in my humble opinion.

The language itself is pretty much fine. This description is pretty straightforward. It's expressive and doesn't use a ton of jargon or obscure terms to describe what it's selling. Overall, not bad with regards to clarity of language.

The only head-scratcher for me is this mention of the "three bodies," which are apparently physical, astral, and dream:

It isn't clear from the listing alone what this actually means. It scans as someone either trying to sound mystical or someone who is using technical terms that they use all the time and don't realize aren't in common use elsewhere. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

The listing is clear in that the seller is going to cast a spell on your behalf to create a shield which is tethered to you and which will protect you from various abusive people and energies. However, it isn't clear how this actually works, how you're going to know that the spell is done, or what method is being used to cast this spell.

Under the "how it works" heading, we get one sentence: "Upon purchase, you will receive your Digital Spell Instruction Guide within minutes."

Hang on. Why do I need instructions? What do the instructions tell me? What steps am I going to have to take? Do I need to have some kind of expertise in energy work, or even just a rudimentary understanding of it?

I don't know, because that's all it says. This is my primary issue with this listing, I think, aside from the obvious ableist bullshit. I know nothing about this service except that the seller promises to do it. I don't know how proof is provided or if it's provided at all.

As far as the quality of Clarity goes, I'm giving this listing 2/5, docking one point for not explaining the weird three-body thing and two for the obscurity around how this spell actually works and what that "instruction guide" is.

The refunds policy is clearly stated near the end of the listing. Some sellers (like myself) put it in the terms and conditions section under Ko-Fi listings. Either way is fine by me, as long as it's somewhere.

I do have one problem here... The listing says "following Ko-Fi's guidelines," yes? Well, take a peep at this official link from Ko-Fi's refunds policy page. Note how it doesn't say anything about forbidding refunds on shop purchases. On the contrary, that link tells you exactly how to give a refund on a shop purchase and what'll happen if you issue one (the buyer won't be able to re-download any digital content, and they'll get their money back via whatever method they used to make the purchase).

Having a no-refunds policy is honestly whatever. That's a personal choice; there are processing fees all over the place, and it's draining to have to cover those. And there are issues with people buying from shops, downloading their goodies, and then demanding unfair refunds, essentially stealing from the seller. Again, whatever. But hiding behind a non-existent policy? Not exactly transparent, is it?

Now, again, as stated before, we can't know based on this listing alone how the spell is being cast, what materials are being used or where they're sourced, or really anything else about the actual process of the spell. We know what it's supposed to do once it's been cast, but nothing else. That's major points docked.

And again, I'm not buying the whole generational wizard thing. I did some digging, which I won't detail here as it would be really uncool (erring on a call-out, which this is not). But just know this: The dubious nature of the Hereditary Magic is... certainly dubious. A family of practitioners, sure; the rest? Uncertain.

In total, I'm giving this listing a generous 2/5 for Transparency.

So, this seller has a Tumblr blog. It's how I found them, actually. This seller is, I shit you not, the reason this project kicked off.

So, yes. I dove into this person's online presence, and I didn't really like what I saw. What I generally look for is original content that isn't paywalled, talks about the individual's practice, is informative in some way, and/or is having an active conversation with someone else.

What I found was inane commentary on other peoples' posts, wordless reblogs of beginner witch content, reblogs from one of their other blogs (an art blog, if you're curious), and posts advertising their shop. I found some older posts that were, like, reblog games and very surface-level boasting about how Cool And Powerful They Are.

The only original post I unearthed in my two hours of scrolling was also on their Ko-Fi page, actually. It detailed research they'd done into... um. "Mana." Their sources were... about as dubious as their claims to Witch Trial Ancestry. Pop culture witchcraft is extremely cool, and I respect practitioners a whole lot. You go, PCM/PCP community.

I really can't stand people who declare that their way is the Only Way, and that people who believe differently from them are Fundamentally Wrong. As if there aren't many ways of doing magic.

I'm being pretty ungenerous here, but that's mostly because this same article's "research" cites a "scientific article" which directs to a website selling you Law of Attraction manifestation journals. I shit you not. It's barely-researched, unverified personal gnosis stemming from anime, one book, and an article I'm 95% certain they didn't read past the title.

Anyways, this person gets a 1/5 for Presence in my book. If you're not actively and genuinely engaging with the community you're trying to sell to, you're not worth my time.

Holy actual shit, though. An Art Magician using AI-generated images? That's a level of bullshit I didn't think I'd get on the first entry in this series.

This person gets exactly one point for being a real person. They've changed that shop name and their stated expertise/most powerful magic too many times for this to be a bot.

They get another point for writing their own shop listings, as far as I can tell. A lot of it is copy-pasted (badly, sometimes), but I'm only grading this one listing for the purposes of this review. So, they get the point.

There are no other photos in the listing. All you get is that shitty AI-generated shield.

Genuineness gets a very kind 2/5.

That's a big, fat fuck no on all counts, folks. As covered above, there's no way for a prospective buyer to know or understand how the service will be completed or how it's even done in the first place based on this listing alone. Even if you wanted to see this person's casting methods, you couldn't! They don't really talk about their methods anywhere except in vague terms. Which, okay, fine, keep your secrets, it's a classic Magic Thing to be secretive. But when you're selling your services, your buyers have to know what they're buying from you! They gotta be able to VERIFY the services!

There are also no reviews, period, that I can find -- positive or negative. Part of that may be that very few of these listings have any sales. I know they don't, because a couple of them do, and they show the number in the shop. Either nobody's buying, or they cycle through listings so the numbers don't show.

This particular listing gets a 0/5 for Verifiability.

This particular listing doesn't discuss anything medical, legal, or otherwise questionable. Nothing about bigotry or anything like that, either. No outright misinformation that I can spot, unless you're considering this whole listing misinformation. No points given or taken away, because the bar is honestly in hell for this category. The absence of shitty behavior is not praise-worthy.

We've talked already about how this listing is specifically targeting people in abusive situations. That alone is really shitty, and I've made my case about it. I've also made my case about the ableism thing, which is straight-up not acceptable. No need to beat either dead horse.

I want to draw attention to the little blurb right at the top of this listing. This one, that talks about buying sooner rather than later due to limited offerings:

Let me state, there's nothing inherently wrong with using "limited" advertising language. I've done it for my own limited time listings. It's pretty standard.

However, remember who this listing is for. If an abuse victim reads that, they're already likelier to be desperate and willing to overlook red flags to jump on a deal before it's gone forever. For reference, all listings do use this language. Therefore, I'm interpreting this as simply thoughtless and in bad taste, rather than actively malicious.

Overall, this listing gets a 1/5 for Morality from me.

Not applicable for this entry.

The average of all six scores comes out to a rating of 1.3/5. Really, really bad.

Now, I want to be clear, this review isn't an accusation that this listing (or this shop) is a scam. I do think this seller has some grifting tendencies that need serious fixing.

If this is a legitimate seller, they're clearly copying shitty scams they've seen elsewhere -- Etsy, for example. This honestly strikes me as someone who doesn't really know what they're doing with regards to selling their services, so they default to the worst possible practices. Either that, or this is someone who's made up an identity to sell you absolutely nothing at $100 per empty promise. I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt and believe that this seller is just trying to make a living.

To that, I say, go make a living without deliberately taking advantage of people.

This listing, and this seller's entire shop, are emblematic of the biggest sins of magical marketing. It's full of catchy buzzwords and no substance. Promises made without explanation or proof of product. This seller has nothing to offer you but fake pictures and their word. Again, even if these services are genuine, and I very much doubt it based on what I'm seeing up for sale, this listing (and all other listings on this Ko-Fi page) prove that this seller is willing to do whatever it takes to get your money into their pocket.

Personally, I wouldn't buy it.